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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28746243">i see you when i reach</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/metropoliszone/pseuds/metropoliszone'>metropoliszone</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Attempt at Humor, Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mpreg</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 14:15:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,180</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28746243</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/metropoliszone/pseuds/metropoliszone</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Some mistakes have long-lasting consequences. Some of them last way longer than you're ready for.</p><p>Or as Hak says, You can blame Droopy Eyes for all of this.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jae-Ha/Son Hak</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. let down my guard tonight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>My decision to post this fic is now everyone else's problem. Anyways, I've been sitting on this fic for a little while, and have decided to start posting this as I get back to it. I really have been craving some cute mpreg fluff and some JaeHak, so I hope you all enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Good morning, Hak~”</p><p>Hak shook his head slightly, running his fingers through his hair. “I’m up…” Grunting and messing up his hair further, trying to get it at least somewhat presentable before he got out of bed. He had slept in far too late today, and most days, not feeling his best. His arms stretching up above his head and letting out a slow yawn that slipped through his lips as he tried to properly wake himself up again. “You’re too cheerful this morning…” Groggy himself, he didn’t feel like waking up at all, reading to sleep even longer.</p><p>“Am I?”</p><p>Jae-Ha, his mate, peeked into their bedroom door. They hadn’t mated that long ago, but already he was having to get used to all of Jae-Ha’s quirks when it came to the day to day life of this place. Not that they were anywhere different than Hak’s apartment. Jae-Ha had agreed to move in because it was closer to Hak’s college, and Jae-Ha could easily get anywhere around the city that he wanted.</p><p>“You are.” Grumbling and rubbing his face, “Feels like you were just waiting to wake me up in your worst mood.”</p><p>Jae-Ha slipped into the room, climbing into bed. Already dressed in his work clothes, ready for another day at the office. His smile was closed, and devious. “If you want, I can go in late and make sure you have a good day.” Moving his hand up Hak’s thigh to give it a squeeze, raising an eyebrow. And all that did was turn Hak’s face completely bright red and move to slam his face into Jae-Ha’s to knock him away.</p><p>“Just go to work.” Grunting and covering his face. Groaning as he felt his body attempt incredibly hard to keep him down in the bed. At least Jae-Ha was moving away from him, “I’m fine, I’ve got to get going.” Yawning and stretching his arms up as he slipped out of bed.</p><p>“…Are you sure?”</p><p>Hak met Jae-Ha’s eyes and just had to sigh, trying to calm himself down. Ever since they mated, Jae-Ha’s been more than a little concerned for him. And he can’t fully blame him on that part. Their mating was not supposed to happen, was completely unexpected, and Hak had really not wanted to do it at the time. But what was he supposed to do now?</p><p>He had to admit, he didn’t completely hate the idea of being around the droopy eyes, he just wished the guy had some personal boundaries.</p><p>“…Yeah. Go to work. I’ll be fine.” He slowly moved to properly stand up, “I’ll text you if I need you… keep your phone with you, this time.”</p><p>Jae-Ha grinned, and just gave a nod, “See you, Hak.” Said in the most sing-songy voice he could muster. It just made Hak shake his head and start to get ready. He had been feeling off for a few days now, but that was probably nothing to worry about. It never was anything to worry about. He felt unwell, Jae-Ha made him smack him, and he felt better. That’s how this all worked, didn’t it?</p><p>It didn’t take him long to get dressed and head out the door, at least.</p><p>~ ~ ~</p><p>Opening the door, he was met with a familiar red haired girl who was waiting there for him.</p><p>“Good morning, Hak!” Said in her most cheerful (and suspicious) voice that she could muster. Hak just moved to place a hand on her head.</p><p>“Morning, Princess.” A nickname from when they were children, Hak used it whether Yona liked him to or not. “You didn’t want to go to school with the droopy eyes there?” Ignoring the huffy face she made when she got called said nickname, and wasn’t happy with him about it. Even though she was in High School, and he was in college, they still had quite a bit of a journey together. And Hak didn’t mind at all walking Yona to school. Considering that he made a promise to her father that he would until she was mated herself.</p><p>“He snuck off. He doesn’t want to take you to school anymore?”</p><p>“No.” Ignoring that he didn’t let him take him to school, “He doesn’t and he shouldn’t.” Already feeling the tiredness of the night before leeching into today. Yona hummed as she kept up with Hak. Leaving the building and going off to the train, they walked through the early mornings of their fair city, trying to stay awake. At least Hak was. Yawning the entire time, holding his bag over his shoulder.</p><p>“He could give us a ride.” Yona thought, “I think he’d really like to do that.”</p><p>“Why don’t you let him give you a ride?” Hak grumbled, running his fingers through his hair, “That way I could get some peace and quiet in the morning for once.”</p><p>And to that, Yona just stuck out her tongue as she moved down the stairs into the subway. Hak shook his head and followed right behind her. He was lucky that he had a place in the middle of downtown, so that the train was so close to where they lived. He doesn’t give it much thought. It’s easier that way. Gramps does send him money, but he hasn’t told Gramps his exact living situation. And with Jae-Ha willing to pay all of the rent, and all they have to do is split food, he doesn’t really need as much money as he gets sent every month.</p><p>Oh well. More spending money for him. Or more saving money, really.</p><p>Tapping their passes, they’re able to slide into the main part of the station and head down to the train tracks. Hak letting out another yawn, with Yona looking at him with some worry on her face.</p><p>“You’re yawning a lot today.”</p><p>Hak noticed, but he didn’t think anyone else might.</p><p>“It’s fine.” Trying to brush it off. He doesn’t want to think about why.</p><p>Not that it was that sort of thing. But rather that he wonders exactly what it could be.  And he’s not sure if he likes the idea of what it might be. Shaking his head.</p><p>“Are you sure?” Yona says, with an earnest look on her face. Hak can’t exactly be mad at her for being worried about him, he just doesn’t want her to be worried about him. He would rather that she wasn’t, and she was more focused on something more important. Like her schoolwork for a change, “Do you want me to make sure you get to school okay?”</p><p>“Now you’re trying to push my buttons.” Hak says as they enter the train. Not too busy, but they’re one of the earlier stops. Yona is able to get a seat, and Hak stands in front of her. It’s his way to defend her against handsy Alphas who are so eager to grab her and try to do something that he really wants to stop. He’s incredibly defensive of her… but who can really blame him? He wants to make sure she stays safe. And she’s going to stay safe with him. That, he promises.</p><p>~ ~ ~</p><p>The train pulled up to their station, and Yona had to give his shin a kick, a light one, before they pulled in. He was dozing off. He didn’t doze off. He slept well, for the most part, and now wasn’t really any different. Except that apparently it was. Because he was exhausted and he couldn’t explain why. Grumbling, he rubbed his forehead and pushed his hair back.</p><p>“Hak, are you sure you’re okay?” As they left the train and moved through the station, “Are you feeling well?” She looked back at him as they walked.</p><p>Hak had to push it all aside, because again, she didn’t need to be worrying about him, and he wouldn’t let her worry about him, “Yona, you need to focus on where you’re going.” He had stopped. Because Kija and Shin-Ah were right there where Yona had walked past, she looked surprised and moved back, letting Hak chuckle lightly while she shot him an embarrassed look.</p><p>“Hak is unwell?” Shin-ah asked, looking up at him. He was starting to get used to being around people even more now, so long as Hak or Yona weren’t too far from him. Yona in particular, but him and Hak seemed to have a strong connection with one another, and Hak was fond of him as well.</p><p>“No, not unwell. Just tired.” Hak brought up, as Kija started to look at him, nodding up and down and looking at him carefully, “Don’t say it,” a strict warning to Kija, before he started to get lost in a tangent about Omegas and Alphas that Hak was really not ready to listen to. Nope. Not going to do it today. “Don’t start. We’re all going to be late if you do.” Just trying to prevent it entirely before it got completely out of hand.</p><p>Which, knowing Kija, probably already has.</p><p>“I wasn’t going to say anything!” Kija said, looking red in the face that he definitely got caught in the midst of something by Hak, “I was just thinking that maybe you’re about to go-”</p><p>“Kija, is that a spider?”</p><p>“Where?!”</p><p>Hak just whistled and strolled right by him without addressing the topic. He wasn’t going to get into his biology right now, before school started. Kija had a very traditional view, and Shin-Ah was still somewhat confused by all of it (though was learning thanks to Jae-Ha himself). And Hak? Well, Hak had hoped for many a different thing before he learned about whether he was Alpha or Omega.</p><p>And he still couldn’t believe it had all happened as it had.</p><p>So even though Kija might be mad at him now, he knows that he took care of himself in that moment, and that was all he really could ask of for himself.</p><p>~ ~ ~</p><p>He doesn’t feel better during the day. It feels like he’s starting to degrade and get worse and worse. His mind seems to be feeling heavy and his body does too. He completely lost focus during class more than once, and he feels more and more like he’s about to throw up all over the place. And it almost feels like all his worst fears are coming true. Oh he knew, at some point, this might happen. He knew he needed to be prepared for it. He just hoped he had a bit more time coming.</p><p>Goddamn flu.</p><p>That’s it. It’s the flu. Stomach bug. Making him feel not good right now. It makes complete and utter sense.</p><p>So, he focuses on class the best he can, and makes a note to go and see the nurse. Not Jae-Ha. He’s not going to have Jae-Ha confirm anything, because he knows that bastard is going to have his own thoughts on all the matters. He’s going to say something that’ll make Hak really want to smack him around a few times, and he’s not eager to do that right now. Because when he is told he has the flu, he’s going to need plenty of bed rest and being taken care of, he’s sure. He’s absolutely sure of that. So, classes finish, he heads off to the nurse in his college. Sliding into the chair across from the nurse.</p><p>Thankfully, an Omega. The last Alpha nurse he saw was a complete and utter pain in the ass and he’s not going to deal with that again. Omega nurses could be strict, but at least they weren’t condescending. And were also less likely to attempt to press charges when a chair was thrown at their head.</p><p>Dropped in court.</p><p>“Symptoms?” Getting straight to the point.</p><p>“Tiredness, nausea, at least what I notice.”</p><p>“Have you mated recently?”</p><p>Ah, of course. This question. If he ever had any symptoms at all that might be related to pregnancy symptoms, he was asked that. It was frustrating to deal with, but he’s not going to let himself be bothered by it.</p><p>“A few months ago… two?” Trying to remember when he was marked, and when his heat messed up his body entirely. Ugh, he needs more heat pills.</p><p>“Are you on any protection?” The nurse asks, moving to grab a small box and pull out what he’s been fearing most of all.</p><p>Protection, protection, right. Right, he’s supposed to be on that, isn’t he?</p><p>“I ran out while I couldn’t go restock.” Which is shameful, and makes him realize that this was definitely more of an actual fearful situation he was going to have to deal with. His hand moved out and had the test placed nicely in his hand for him to just grasp. He was going to look at that test through his fingers and pretend it’s nothing to worry about. It’s going to be negative, and it’s going to be a flu. Even as he was entering the bathroom and undoing his pants, it’s going to be just the flu, and he’ll recover in a week, and not in 18 years.</p><p>It’s shameful. He bites his lip as he sits on the toilet. He doesn’t want to show the nurse, but he doesn’t want to look at the results himself. If he does, he’s going to probably vomit, and whether it’s the flu or not, he’s going to absolutely have a confirmation at that exact moment he’s not ready for. His fingers tap on the test, and look at it while he waits. And waits. And waits. Entirely impatiently, and just staring at that test, hoping it’s just going to tell him something. Anything.</p><p>And even when the time is up, he can’t look at it. He’s not scared of a lot of things, but getting these results is going to be probably one of the biggest things he’s not ready for. His fingers grab the test and bring it back to the nurse, who’s eyebrow has raised. “You didn’t look?”</p><p>“I’m not going to look.” Hak said, plainly as possible, “If I don’t look, it’s not real.”</p><p>The nurse just sighed and looked at the test. And then at Hak.</p><p>“It’s real.”</p><p>“Fuck.”</p><p>~ ~ ~</p><p>Hak just sat there in the chair while the nurse gathered various pamphlets, including some about what to do if you don’t want a child. Hak was thankful for the options, but he already knew that no matter what, he was going to keep it. After his Gramps took him in, he’s not about to subject a child to try and find their own family. His fingers moved to put them all in his bag to bring home so that he could have an actual talk with the bastard who did this to him.</p><p>“Do you have a family planning doctor?” The nurse said, starting to write down some things for Hak to take home with him, “You probably should get one if you don’t have one yet. You’re going to need it either way.” Writing out a slip of paper, it’s placed with the other pamphlets for him to take home. Hak barely reads it, not willing to let his mind get so invested in it before he’s even begun to process it.</p><p>“And congratulations… or apologies. Depending on what you decide to do.”</p><p>Hak just nods and rubs his forehead after dumping everything into his bag to take home, “Yeah. Thanks.” Standing up, he moves to leave the room as quickly as he can. Well. What can he really do from here? Does he call Jae-Ha? Does he head home and scream into a pillow? …What will Yona think about it? Does he even tell her yet? Or does he wait until he’s absolutely certain of his next steps? What plans he has for everything regarding this?</p><p>Yes, this. That’s the best way he can describe any of this. It’s this. And he’s not so excited about it. He just wants to go home and go face first into bed. Moving on with his life and not thinking about this unless he absolutely has to. Because he wasn’t prepared, dammit. He didn’t have any chance to be prepared. So he has to figure out where he’s going from here. Keeping the child, yes. But anything else, he doesn’t know. And he doesn’t want to think about it all just yet. Instead, he’s going to shove it down a bit longer and go get something to eat.</p><p>Jae-Ha won’t mind the money spent. He’s sure the guy will be happy in the long run.</p><p>Though he should think about his own happiness first.</p><p>~ ~ ~</p><p>The nearest tea shop was the perfect place to spend the rest of the afternoon without having to think too deeply about everything else that was going on. The only class he was skipping was something he was already doing perfectly fine in, and he could always borrow notes later if he had to. Entering into the shop, he begun to realize why this may not have been the best idea.</p><p>Yun-Ho’s Tea Shop, that her husband bought her. Which meant that there was a good chance that her husband was there. And by that awful mess of brown hair, he was right on the money about that. Just as he was turning away, he was stopped by said husband, Geun-Tae.</p><p>“Don’t you want to try some of my wife’s tea, Hak?” Said in his graveliest tone, which made Hak really feel like he might not have an option, “Come, sit.” With Yun-Ho starting to brew tea for them, Hak just sighed.</p><p>“This is a trap.” Hak looked up at Geun-Tae, blankly looking at him, just right in that face and burrowing into his forehead, “Sorry, I’m heading home.”</p><p>“You can spend some time. See, my darling wife is already making you tea, so you should sit down and enjoy it.” Leading him over to the table closest to the front, which was away from everyone and everything else. Sitting down in the chair and pushing it out with his foot so Hak could sit down in it. Unlike many, many other people in his life that he could just slip away from if he really wasn’t eager to spend time with them, it feels as if he runs away from Geun-Tae, he’s going to end up with many more issues. The man knows everyone Hak respects… and few, he’d really rather not hear from again.</p><p>Yun-Ho brings over the tea, “Here you go, Hak. I’ve made a special blend for you.” Said so softly with a smile on her face. Geun-Tae gets another cup which smells far different. Which… raises questions.</p><p>“A special blend?” Hak turns to look at her, just as she’s pointing to her nose.</p><p>And it takes a moment. Before he realizes exactly what’s going on here. Of course he didn’t realize it at first, he can’t really smell any changes with him, and so many of the Alphas and Omegas he’s around haven’t had to deal with it before. But Geun-Tae and Yun-Ho recently had their own child, which means that Geun-Tae knows exactly what that smells like.</p><p>So if he ever thought he might have had an upper hand against Geun-Tae, he certainly doesn’t any longer. He turns around in his seat, leaning forward a bit so he can look right at Geun-Tae, as he waits for the tea to cool. This… this is bad. Geun-Tae isn’t a gossip, and if he doesn’t want it shared, Yun-Ho won’t. But there’s another issue entirely. This is a fairly popular tea-shop for the large businesses in this town. A meeting ground, if you would. And Hak is prone to avoid every single one of them if he can. Yes, even Gramps.</p><p>“Alright. What do you want from me, Geun-Tae?”</p><p>“Who’s your mate?”</p><p>“Pass.”</p><p>Geun-Tae blinked at that, “Pass?”</p><p>“I don’t need Gramps to give them any trouble. So, pass.”</p><p>“I won’t tell him.”</p><p>“He’ll find out.”</p><p>Hak’s hands moved to wrap around the cup to hold onto it tightly, feeling the warmth dig into his body. He feels his body start to heat up and can feel himself properly relax with it. Even if he’s willing to admit that there’s nothing secure about here.</p><p>Geun-Tae just rested his chin in his hand, narrowing his eyes at Hak, as if trying to catch him in a slip up so he’ll admit something. But Hak is smarter than that, sneakier than that, and definitely not a complete moron like some people might think of him as. So he’s willing to go toe to toe with Geun-Tae to protect himself, and Jae-Ha, from anyone digging in.</p><p>“Anything you want to share with me then?”</p><p>“No.” Hak grumbled, and leaned back. “Considering you dragged me in here to find out something, I’m not eager to just share anything with you.”</p><p>“Tch.” Geun-Tae had to chuckle, frustration brewing on his face as he sipped his tea, “You’re a pain in the ass.”</p><p>“Aware of that,” Hak finally was able to take a sip of the tea. And it was nice. Nice and warm. He could feel it flowing through his body, and keeping his insides completely warmed up. Yun-Ho had come back over to their table at least, and it almost felt like he should share something with the pair of them. Because Yun-Ho is so motherly, and Geun-Tae is… well, he is something, alright.</p><p>“…I’ll say that I am planning to keep it. There. That’s enough for you.”</p><p>Yun-Ho seemed pleased at that, “I hope we’ll get to meet them soon enough. Please come around after the child is born.” She moved to place a hand on Hak’s shoulder and gave it a rub, trying to help him be at ease, even while being stared down by Geun-Tae. His smirk spoke volumes for this, and Hak didn’t feel any more secure since he arrived. Damn this rat bastard.</p><p>Geun-Tae just chuckled, “Yeah. We’ll send you something to welcome the kid to the world. Or at least stop by before you’re about to pop.” Sitting back up with a smirk, “Do you have more of that tea he can take home?” Turning to look at Yun-Ho, who just nodded and headed off to get a rather large bag of it for him. Smiling when she brought it back and put it into his bag for him. “There you go. It’ll help keep you relaxed while you’re dealing with this… and congratulations.” Geun-Tae raised his cup to him, which allowed Hak to relax just a bit while he finished off his tea.</p><p>Mmm… yeah, that hit the spot.</p><p>“…Thanks.” Hak just nodded, slowly standing up. “I have to go home.” Trying to at least get out of here kind of quickly so he didn’t run into anyone he really didn’t want to. Again, he was certain if Geun-Tae was there, someone else wasn’t all that far behind. He strapped his bag to his back, “I’ll be back soon.” Raising his hand so he could slip out the front door, and move further away as quickly as possible. Slipping down an alley right when he heard someone pulling up.</p><p>No, he wasn’t going to look. He didn’t want to know what could be waiting for him, and he wasn’t even going to try and find out for himself. It’d be better to just head home now. Letting out a deep, heavy sigh, he took the trek back to his place.</p><p>~ ~ ~</p><p>In the mess that was today, in the disaster that everything lead up to something, he had forgotten to meet Yona at school. Pulling out his phone, he immediately got a call from exactly who he was expecting.</p><p>“Sorry.” He answered immediately. It was a promise to get her to and from school, but in the end, he couldn’t completely fault himself for messing up here. He had just wished he hadn’t done that. It makes him feel weak.</p><p>“I’m still at school. Jae-Ha is with me right now. Are you close by?”</p><p>He looked at where he was, and just decided he was close enough that it wouldn’t be a problem. “Yeah. I’ll be there soon. Alright?” With the sound of confirmation coming from the other line, he hung up the phone and quickly set out to go to her school. And soon he would be. Because he wasn’t just going to leave her behind, not now. He moved quickly through the streets, really trying not to jaywalk. Really trying.</p><p>Walking through the streets, he gave a lot of thought to what was going on with him and his body, and he couldn’t say he was all that fond of it. The idea of having a kid, no matter when, was not something he could say he was really excited for. He didn’t plan his life around having kids, especially not while he was in college, not while he wasn’t doing anything else with his life besides going to school. He couldn’t allow his mind to stay focused on the idea of having kids right now, because he felt like he might lose his mind that way.</p><p>His steps built up while he was thinking, and it didn’t take him long to get to the school. Shin-Ah, Kija, and Yona were at the front, while Jae-Ha was standing off to the side just enough so that he didn’t look much weirder than normal standing near some high school students.</p><p>“There.” Shin-Ah pointed to Hak as he came up from the side. Hak felt relieved that everyone stayed nearby Yona to make sure she stayed safe while he couldn’t do that. He desperately didn’t want to fail her ever again after this.</p><p>“Sorry.” He apologized again right to her, “I lost track of time.” Not wrong. Absolutely not wrong.</p><p>Yona just tried to brush it off, “It’s okay.” Her smile was soft as she spoke, gentle, trying to prevent Hak from beating himself up further. “I’m just glad you’re here.” Moving to touch him on the hand so he could have some bit of grounding. It was as if she knew what he needed at any given time and he was thankful for that. He let out a light sigh and nodded.</p><p>“Shall we go?” Kija moved up closer to them, staying close to Shin-Ah as Jae-Ha moved to walk over to his car, giving them all a wave while he drove home. Hak was really thankful for many things when it came to Jae-Ha, mainly that he was willing to allow some separation between their mating and their friendship. The whole thing felt awkward to Hak and he really didn’t want to imagine it being even more explicit than it already was. Even if everyone knew. Even though everyone in their group knew. He did his best to make sure that whatever happened didn’t bother Yona one bit.</p><p>Boarding the train with them all, as the day had gone on and it crew later, they were all able to sit. Kija sat closest to the door, and Shin-ah and Hak sat on either side of Yona.</p><p>He wasn’t paying attention and placed his bag on his lap in front of his stomach.</p><p>The mental fuck up had already begun. And he wasn’t looking forward to that.</p><p>~ ~ ~</p><p>Everyone got off at their stops, and Hak and Yona headed up to their shared apartment building. Yona was staying with her friend, Lili, and her two guardians (as punishment) and Hak was obviously boarding with Jae-Ha. They were floormates, which meant anytime Yona needed something from Hak, he was only a knock away. And he would always answer the door for her. No question about that.</p><p>“…Is everything okay, Hak?”</p><p>Yona finally asked. And he didn’t know how to explain it to her. How to explain what was going on with his body and why he was acting so weird today. It was one of those things that even though Yona was an Omega, and at some point she would have to deal with, he wasn’t ready to tell her. He didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of her, and he didn’t want her to think any less of him in these moments. In his complete and utter moment of weakness.</p><p>He looked at her closely, and moved to touch her hand. “I am.” But even he didn’t believe it. Why should she believe him? “I will be.” As if that made it better.</p><p>“You can talk to me about it.”</p><p>“And I will.” There was no fooling Yona and they both knew that very well.</p><p>“When?”</p><p>“…Soon.”</p><p>He met her eyes and knew that he wasn’t being completely and absolutely honest with her. And it hurt. Of course it hurt. He wanted nothing more than to protect her, but how could he do that if she didn’t completely trust him. He just needed time. He needed so much time to work through this that he didn’t know if he would tell her soon enough. His fingers moved over hers, and he squeezed her hand gently enough to simply say that he was okay.</p><p>He promised.</p><p>“…Alright.”</p><p>She squeezed his hand back before pulling her hand away from his, and headed towards her apartment.</p><p>Watching her closely leave him behind, it felt as if it burned in his chest. He wasn’t prepared for that sort of feeling building up inside of him. And it hurt. He just wanted to do right by her and he was failing even that. Watching her enter her apartment, she looked back over to him, and it felt like he had hurt her by not being completely honest about this one thing.</p><p>He couldn’t even be completely honest with himself about this one thing. And that required a whole other discussion.</p><p>That required letting the man who had done this to him know exactly what had gone on.</p><p>Stepping into his apartment, he prepared himself as much as he could, mentally. Even if emotionally, he felt as if he was going to explode multiple times over.</p><p>~ ~ ~</p><p>“Hak?”</p><p>Jae-Ha had just come out of the bedroom in his casual evening wear, saying that they weren’t going to do anything special. Which was enough for him. Shutting and locking the door behind him, he placed his bag right by where he took his shoes off.</p><p>“Yeah.” Hak moved further into the apartment, taking a long and deep breath. “I’m home.”</p><p>The air felt different in here. It felt as if Hak and Jae-Ha were at two opposites end of the apartment, with walls between them. Hak looked towards Jae-Ha, who started to move closer. But the whole thing felt forced and as if he was pushing his way through all the problems that were building up between them. Jae-Ha didn’t know about all of these problems. There were certainly some that were causing him problems. After all, not all of this mating was exactly exciting for either of them. Really, it had just happened, and neither were willing to take it back and fix the problem.</p><p>Hak, because he wasn’t a coward. Jae-Ha, because Hak refused to give up.</p><p>Jae-Ha continued to try and be a good Alpha to his Omega, even through that. His hands moving to rest on his shoulders and move in closer to him.</p><p>“You’ve smelled different all morning… did you find out what it was?” So even Jae-Ha knew that he didn’t smell okay. He just didn’t say anything outloud. Maybe they could have figured it out earlier if he had. Even if he had, though, would Hak have really listened to that? Jae-Ha kept his nose closer to him, and began to wrap his arms around him to pull him closer to him.</p><p>His tenseness began to slowly drip away, out of his body and towards the floor. His mind began to gain ease, and his body just relaxed into that body. His entire mood was becoming more and more relaxed.</p><p>As an Omega, he was always tense. He didn’t like his position in life, and he would have done so much to change that for the better. But since being with Jae-Ha, his body had begun to settle and change in very minor (but specific) ways. He saw some Omegas, and was very thankful his body was not going that far just yet. His head tilted slowly towards Jae-Ha, showing that he was starting to relax somewhat.</p><p>Though he still wasn’t saying what was on his mind, and he didn’t want to let it all slip out. He just let his body continue to sink right into Jae-Ha’s and let everything relax. Because once he was relaxed, he could deal with the other things, whether he was ready for them or not. Letting out a low breath of air, he shut his eyes and just let everything sink down.</p><p>“Hak.”</p><p>Jae-Ha whispered into his ear.</p><p>“Are you…?”</p><p>Jae-Ha didn’t say it. He didn’t need to say it. With the way that every last bit of tension was slipping out of his body, and the way he was cuddling into Jae-Ha for the first time in his life like this, it was enough for them both to know exactly what Hak was experiencing.</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>Saying the one word was easier than saying a bunch of words. Trying to confusedly explain himself to Jae-Ha like this, and trying to get the words in order that he hadn’t yet said himself. Maybe he didn’t ever have to say it, if everyone can figure it out on their own. That’s his hope in the end. That everyone gets to the end and they just know. He knows he has to spell it out for one person. But maybe he can. Soon enough.</p><p>But for right now, this is all he wants to do.</p><p>And Jae-Ha lets him do just that.</p><p>Slowly, but surely, his day begins to improve.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. and time will make us in some ways less and some ways more</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Time to talk about things. To people.</p><p>No, he doesn't want to. But he didn't want much of this.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I've been building up the courage to continue just posting this. I didn't finish it during NaNo but I'm hoping to finish it in the upcoming November NaNo. I hope you enjoy this too!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They stay like that for most of the evening. Hak’s mind is still out of focus entirely. He can’t focus on much more than the idea of being pregnant. And that part probably terrifies him the most. Jae-Ha doesn’t move until Hak is ready to move himself. And that takes another hour entirely. The sun has begun to set, and the pair of them don’t move an inch until Hak is ready himself to move. And it’s a process. A slow, slow process. Because being an Omega like that means that he’s not really ready to step too far away from his Alpha in fear that he can’t come straight back to him.</p><p>“…Let’s go out for dinner.”</p><p>Hak can cook, and Jae-Ha can too, but in this situation, neither of them are probably ready to do just that. So Hak agrees.</p><p>“After I get changed… and you do too.”</p><p>Jae-Ha pulled away just a bit to look down at himself, realizing that he was ready for a relaxing night in. But he has no issue going right back out again. So with a nod, he moves towards the bedroom to get properly dressed up for it. Hak right behind him, moving towards the dresser to pull something out for him to go out in. Even if he was comfy staying in for the rest of the night. But they got dressed in something simple, with Jae-Ha putting his hair into a loose ponytail again.</p><p>“Do you want to bring Yona?”</p><p>“I haven’t told her yet.”</p><p>Jae-Ha just blinks, “Then we should bring her.”</p><p>Hak shoots a look to Jae-Ha when he brings that up, and grumbles, “I’m not ready to tell her yet.” Hak fixing up his hair and running his fingers through it to push it back. Jae-Ha just frowns, but doesn’t bring it up any further than that. He lets it slide. Once he’s ready, he’ll be ready. And he hopes after tonight, he’ll be ready. He just wants to talk it through with Jae-Ha before he does.</p><p>Heading back to the front door, Jae-Ha reaches into Hak’s bag to pull out the giant bag of tea and places it on the table at the entrance.</p><p>“Yun-Ho gave me that.”</p><p>“You visited her shop?”</p><p>“Yeah. ‘Visited’.” Hak said, dryly as possible, “Visited thanks to Geun-Tae.”</p><p>Jae-Ha’s eyebrow raised and Hak just looked at him and sighed, trying to brush it all off. “Alright.”</p><p>Weird things happen to Hak, and Jae-Ha’s really just gotten used to it at this point. Hak does take his bag with him, and Jae-Ha just doesn’t question that. He doesn’t even let it come to his mind any further, and he’ll be better off explaining it once they have a chance to sit down somewhere. But before he heads off, he does do one things.</p><p><b>Hak:</b> I’ll be out with Jae-Ha for the evening. Call if you need me to get something for you. Won’t be checking my phone much.</p><p>He slides his phone back into his pocket, and he’ll look at it later.</p><p>They don’t drive anywhere. Being so deep into the downtown, there’s plenty of places to go eat without having to travel very far at all. Which made late nights out much better, especially going out with someone. Drinking, if something else wasn’t going on, may have been an option, but Hak wasn’t always eager to go spend time with Jae-Ha while he was having too much fun with girls. Even Omegas could get jealous in that case. But Jae-Ha didn’t even look at those places.</p><p>In fact, he was more focused on what was going on with Hak, and completely focused on staying beside him. If Hak was uncomfortable with that, he didn’t let it show. He stayed right beside Jae-Ha the entire walk there. His fingers moving down to lace into his. Hak stayed close by him, looking back and forth to try and decide somewhere quiet enough.</p><p>Downtown was a large place with a variety of people all around. Plenty of shops, stores, restaurants, and people. Hak wasn’t ever afraid of this place, impressive for the Omega. But still, right now especially, Jae-Ha was protective of his mate. His fingers squeezing tightly into his as they kept walking down the busy street and paying very little attention to anything else going on around them.</p><p>“Someplace quiet.” Hak said, pausing in front of the diner that was halfway down the strip, “Here.”</p><p>And Jae-Ha didn’t fight back against it. “Whatever you want.”</p><p>“Sap.”</p><p>Jae-Ha didn’t argue back. He just smiled his sly smile and entered the place, Hak dropping off just a step behind him now. They moved up to the counter and were lead to a quiet table far in the back. The booths here were roomy, which was going to be great in a few months. Hak just felt his body shiver at the thought of what his body was going to turn into in just a short period of time, and he didn’t like that thought one bit.</p><p>Was he really ready for any of this?</p><p>“Tea.” Jae-Ha ordered drinks for both of them. Food later. Talking first. And Hak was perfectly fine with that. This would let him settle right in and talk about what he needed to talk about. And he was looking forward to doing just that. Although, maybe looking forward was not the right word for that, but he wasn’t sure what else to say regarding all of this. Because, really, looking forward was what he, as an Omega, should be doing. Looking forward to having kids and a wonderful kind of life with his Alpha.</p><p>His fingers ran through his hair and pulled out the papers and pamphlets from his bag, placing them on the table and moving them over towards Jae-Ha. Some words on how to take care of your Omega in this moment, pamphlets on abortions and adoptions, and a guide on what your Omega might need for nesting purposes. Now, Hak had to be thankful for one thing in regards to this, is that the nurse he went to had a far more open view on Omegas being free, and not traditionally mated. He knows of some other nurses who are far more judgmental in that regard. In particular, one from back in high school, who was very close to mating him all on his own.</p><p>And charges were also dropped.</p><p>So as Hak sat there, looking at some of the pamphlets, fingers moving over them, as Jae-Ha read and the waitress brought over their teas. “We’ll order in a moment,” Hak nodded, so Jae-Ha didn’t get distracted here. There were things they had to deal with from here, and it was important that they both stayed focused on the important things. The waitress let out a small huff, and left quickly, going to some of the other tables to deal with them.</p><p>Until they notified her that they wanted to order, they could count on some sort of privacy.</p><p>It was after the second cup of tea that Jae-Ha began to talk, placing the pamphlets in a small stack. He had gone through all of them, reading carefully. Even the one about an Omega Care Home for Unwieldy Omegas (okay so traditionalism wasn’t dead).</p><p>“Are you going to keep it?” Jae-Ha kept his fingers curled into his cup, looking across the table at Hak, who was still in the midst of his second cup. He met his eyes, head resting on his hand, as he let out a small sigh.</p><p>“After needing to be adopted, I don’t feel alright with just giving a child up.” Saying absolutely enough about the process. “I don’t want to have an abortion either. I know they’re safe, but…” The thought of it all was done in the moment, but even after fully and properly calming down, it didn’t leave his head. It stuck in there, rolling around and keeping his mind occupied, not letting him really think of the other options. Which was just fine by him. Because he didn’t want to let any other options fill his head and let them burrow in. He was steadfast in that regard. And Jae-Ha seemed to agree.</p><p>“Alright.” Jae-Ha answered back to him, his fingers moving across the table to rest on top of Hak’s. Hak turned his hand over to wrap their fingers together. “And you still want to stay in school?” That one got a bit more of a raised eyebrow to Hak. Because even if Hak was nothing like a traditional Omega (he had body muscle, dammit), there was always going to be some traditionalism raised into both of them. Society would do that to you. Jae-Ha didn’t force Hak to do anything, and at least he could be thankful for that. Even if he wasn’t always thankful for having an Alpha at his young age. He had at least wanted to finish college and get himself a job. But all of that was already going to be shoved off of the rails.</p><p>Hak looked at Jae-Ha, meeting his one visible eye head on. “I do.” He grunted, “You’re damn right I do.” He was defensive about having that one choice in his life. If nothing else, he wanted to make sure he had a degree. Even if he had to go to college round and heavy. “I’ll give birth in class. But I’m not dropping out until I have no other choice.” His foot now on top of Jae-Ha’s, letting him know, without hurting him, that he was putting his foot down right here, right now.</p><p>Mainly because if he did put his foot down, Jae-Ha would like it and they were not dealing with that in public. Not more than twice. Both massive mistakes, and both from before they were properly mated. Now, at least, they had more control over one another. And certainly over Jae-Ha’s terrible, terrible actions.</p><p>Jae-Ha just nodded and moved to grab one of the pieces of paper, “Alright, so… what else do we need to talk about? We’re keeping the child. That’s the important thing, right?” His hand squeezing onto Hak’s, and gripping it tightly. Hak was finally and visibly able to properly relax now. The tension that was sticking around had started to disappear out of him and he could just let out a breath. His fingers moving their cups to get filled up with tea when the waitress came back around to them.</p><p>“Are you two going to order yet?” With that impatient attitude, they both decided the best thing to do was to order at this point. Or she might attempt to throw them both out. And neither of them wanted that.</p><p>But it also gave Hak a chance to think about anything else. Really, he just wanted a chance to get out and breathe away from their apartment, and figure out what they wanted to do from here. There was one important thing. One critical thing that neither of them could really ignore (though Hak was pretty sure he’d really like to pretend it wasn’t a thing) was going to have to be discussed soon. Their orders placed, with Jae-Ha trying to apologize by being his charming self (and Hak burrowing his foot into Jae-Ha’s boot to tell him to stop).</p><p>Now that they were alone with tea and a less displeased waitress,</p><p>“Who do we tell?”</p><p>Probably the most critical one for them. Geun-Tae and Yun-Ho both know and if anyone else who is a more experienced Alpha or Omega comes near Hak, they’ll know. And if he tries to be sneaky, Yona is really not going to be very happy with him. His fingers run through his hair as he tries to think.</p><p>“Who do you want to tell?”</p><p>Jae-Ha sips his tea after saying that, “I know who I think we should tell, but you’re the Omega. You’re the pregnant one.” He nods, “So, it should be left up to you.”</p><p>He knows who he needs to tell, though. Hak has that nailed down, and knows exactly who needs to know immediately. There’s some he’s fine with telling, there’s a few he really doesn’t want to, and then there’s Yona. And he has to tell Yona, no matter what. He lets out a small sigh and rubs his forehead, trying to get himself to feel a bit more relaxed again.</p><p>“Yona, Shin-Ah, Kija, Yoon, and Zeno. They should know.”</p><p>Zeno is sometimes hard to pin down, but he always comes at just the right time. And Yoon was often at the school before Hak got there, and stayed there long after Hak picked everyone up. But at least he could talk to him easily enough. Hak just grumbled as he thought about who else.</p><p>“…And Gramps. He’s gotta know. And Gi-Gan too.”</p><p>Everyone who needs to know needs to know. Geun-Tae didn’t need to know, but dammit if he didn’t find out anyways before Hak was even remotely ready to talk to anyone about it. He’s really not happy about that part. And he doesn’t exactly fully believe that no one is going to find out from him. That would be far too convenient for Hak to have to deal with. Grumbling, his fingers resting against his chin.</p><p>But he’s going to tell Yona.</p><p>He has to tell Yona, no matter what.</p><p>With dinner finished, and Jae-Ha taking care of the bill, they both move to step outside of the diner. Hak breathing in the fresh air that had begun to fill up the sweet summer night. Hak just stood there, while Jae-Ha thanked and apologized to the waitress, heading out right behind him. They stood there in the midst of the street and Jae-Ha moved right behind Hak. Breathing in his body and taking it all in.</p><p>“So. We’re officially mates now, aren’t we?”</p><p>Jae-Ha moved to touch Hak’s shoulder.</p><p>“So maybe you should stop hiding my scent?”</p><p>Hak had never been comfortable with his designation in life. He had done his best to hide in. Medicine, scent potions, anything that he could get his hands on to prevent his Omega scent from slipping out and filling his mind. And even while he was mated to Jae-Ha, he did the same. There was no shame in his mating to him. Nothing wrong that he didn’t like… well, maybe some things but nothing he could really blame Jae-Ha for. Their first mating wasn’t exactly fair to either of them, and he, in no way, held him to any amount of fault. But rather, the shame of being an Omega when he thought for most of his life that he’d be an Alpha? There was always going to be a small amount of shame there, resting deep inside of him and refusing to let go. Refusing to let him breathe properly.</p><p>But now, there was no reason to hide it. Plenty of reason to feel ashamed, and that’s not something he can always control when it comes to him. When it comes to what he wanted out of life and what he ended up getting out of it. But in the end, he can’t hide it any longer. And he shouldn’t always be ashamed of it.</p><p>And someday, he’ll be able to control that part of him.</p><p>“I’ll think about it.”</p><p>Hak was still a stubborn Omega. He didn’t want to do what his Alpha told him to, and he was willing to fight back at any given moment. But even fighting back, he knows that eventually he’ll have to give into Jae-Ha. He’ll give the man exactly what he wants. But only on his terms. Only by his choice. Because he’s grown fond of the man as his Alpha.</p><p>“I’ll take it~.” In his sing-songy voice. His little hum that slips his lips, and his fingers curling onto Hak’s shoulder. Which only had to be stopped when Hak gave that hand a light smack to pull him off of him. Not like he had in their first meeting, not even close. But enough that Jae-Ha knew not to push it any further. But he still hummed happily. As if he got exactly what he wanted.</p><p>And that’s really why Hak wanted to give Jae-Ha what he wanted. Because seeing Jae-Ha happy only made himself happier. And in the end, that’s what he would want most from his own mate. One where they could both be happy. That’s really all that could be asked for.</p><p>After entering their apartment building, Hak took the moment to check his phone. And as expected, he did get something back from Yona.</p><p><b>Yona:</b> Okay.<br/><b>Yona:</b> I just hope you’re doing okay.<br/><b>Yona:</b> Can we talk when you get back?</p><p><b>Hak:</b> Yeah, I’m home now.<br/><b>Hak:</b> Come over.<br/><b>Hak:</b> I’ll tell you now.</p><p>Hak entered his apartment, knowing that about right now, Yona was getting ready for bed. But even she would come over once she saw it, so it gave him just enough time to get ready for bed. He entered his bedroom and grabbed pajama pants and a shirt. A fairly loose shirt, he’s pretty sure it’s Jae-Ha’s. But he has to look in the mirror and imagine that it’s not going to be very loose for long. He has to pull on it and imagine it much tighter on his body than he’s probably prepared to deal with. Biting his lip slightly, he pushes it all aside. At least he’s comfortable now when he talks to Yona.</p><p>He wanted to tell her second, after Jae-Ha, but things got in the way. But at least she’ll know now. And that’s the best he can ask for.</p><p>Going to the kitchen, Jae-Ha is already making tea. One for Hak using the tea he was given, and two more using some sort of night time tea. He looks over his shoulder at Hak, “It’ll be ready for when she comes over.” He already knows, he always stays one step ahead, and Hak is thankful for that. He just nods, and goes to the couch, just as the door begins to open.</p><p>Yona enters the apartment, dressed in her nightgown, “Hak.” She whispers and looks at him. Jae-Ha brings over the tea to place in front of Hak and Yona, and moves to sit a small distance away, leaving Hak and Yona by themselves to talk. Yona sitting right beside Hak as they looked at one another, trying to take the moment they had to first just breathe with one another. Hak couldn’t help but feel like he was bearing his soul to Yona. And the only time he had done that before was when Yona found out that he was mated to Jae-Ha. It was a small confession back then, but right now it felt like his heart might explode if he doesn’t say something immediately and just get it off his chest and into the world. His heart just beats harder and harder in his chest as he tries so desperately to just say it. Shout it. Whatever he needs to do.</p><p>“Yona.”</p><p>Yona is looking at him, so he didn’t need to start off like that. But it made it easier if he was sure that he could be heard by her.</p><p>“…I’m pregnant.”</p><p>This was always going to be different than confessing anything else. Including the things he had never said back then and would now never get the chance to. The things he let burn inside of him and refused to let slide out as easily as some people might thing they needed to be.</p><p>Saying that he was pregnant was as if he was truly admitting that he was going to be mated to Jae-Ha for the rest of his life, and he wasn’t sure if he was completely comfortable with that. But that’s the truth. And in the end, the truth mattered far more than the fiction that he had let himself maybe build up in his head. Taking a long deep breath in the moment between him saying that word and Yona responding, that felt like the eternity that he wasn’t really and truly ready to deal with.</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>That Oh. That sound just made it felt like Hak shouldn’t have said anything or maybe he should have told her the moment he found out.</p><p>“Yeah.” Hak responded to that Oh, meeting Yona’s eyes properly. Looking right at her as she looked right back to him. His hand moving to touch hers. Feeling her warmth seep out of her body and build up into his. Trying to help himself fully relax. He couldn’t take it back, he couldn’t fix it.</p><p>“I’m really happy for you.” Yona said, a smile on her face. Not a smile of sadness. Not a smile that made Hak feel like he was letting her down. It was truly an honest and happy smile that Hak could feel warm up his body. Even if he couldn’t give her what he had always wanted to give her, he was glad whenever she smiled to him. That made him feel secure and happy himself. And he was thankful to see it tonight after having to deal with it.</p><p>“Don’t. It means this guy’s going to be all over me.” Hak grumbled, but he couldn’t hide his smile. There were people he wanted to see happy, and at the top of list would always be the girl he grew up protecting. The girl he grew up spending all of his time with. The girl even now he spent more than a fair amount of time with, and didn’t let his mind wander away from her. He was always focused on her and what he wanted to give her in the end. His fingers moved over her hand and cupped it there.</p><p>Yona just let out a small chuckle, her other hand resting on top of Hak’s, “Then you should have been more careful around him.” Smiling up at him still, and it just tried to keep Hak at ease. She moved to grab her tea and hand Hak his. “I hope you have a girl.”</p><p>“Why, so she can be a problem just like you?” Hak smirked and moved a bit closer to her. He’s sure that they could talk more about all of this, but even now, even this moment, no part of this feels real and it feels as if he’s just making things up by listening to the doctor. Even if Geun-Tae could smell it on him and confirm it, it doesn’t feel the least bit real. So, rather than do that, he’d at least like Jae-Ha closer.</p><p>Which he obliges the moment there’s room. And even if there wasn’t room, he’d make room. Hak knows plenty of times where he’s had to get himself off of Jae-Ha’s lap with a good swift kick to the shin. His fingers move to wrap around his cup as Jae-Ha sits right beside him, leaning in closer so he can talk to Yona.</p><p>“I’m hoping it’s twins.” Jae-Ha says, a grin lighting up his face, “I think he’d look cute with two girls hanging off of him.” Even as Hak rested his foot on Jae-Ha’s, he didn’t actually mind the talk. It felt as though they might be slipping into some form of normalacy with one another once again. The normalacy that even before this, he didn’t feel, as being mated to someone else, an Alpha, still had some degree of strangeness to it for him. But he couldn’t keep thinking of it that way, and he really didn’t want to. He didn’t want to consider all of this odd in the long run.</p><p>It’s hard for him to imagine seeing an actually good mating. Even in his younger years, the only people that were really mates were the parents of other kids. Yona never really got to see it either. And everyone else in their little messed up group had no idea what a good pair could look like. They could only think of what that combination really and truly looked like. And now Hak and Jae-Ha, two of the more messed up of their group, were actually going to have to put on one hell of a show.</p><p>That wasn’t unnerving at all.</p><p>Still, Yona’s smile, and Jae-Ha’s ultimate willingness to jump into all of this made Hak feel incredibly soft. It felt as though they might really, in the end, be just fine.</p><p>He hoped. That’s all he could do right now. Hope.</p><p>As it was getting late, Hak moved to take Yona back to her apartment. They still had school tomorrow, even if their lives were ultimately changing very quickly. Hak was going to have a kid in who knows how long, and Yona was going to be an aunt. Things were moving forward in their lives and Hak wasn’t completely sure if he was ready for all of it.</p><p>“Have a good night, Jae-Ha.” She said with a small yawn, letting Hak shut the door behind him after she gave him a small wave. “Good night, Yona.” Jae-Ha said softly while looking right at Hak. Hak felt like he was absolutely being looked up and down right now, eyes trained all over him. It sent a full shiver down his spine and he had to take a low breath.</p><p>“I’ll see you in a moment. Don’t act weird.” Hak grumbled and moved to turn around, but still catching Jae-Ha blowing him a kiss just as he was shutting the door. He smirked a bit hearing the dejected sound from outside the apartment. That was always fun to hear. He smirked a bit, heading to Yona’s apartment just down the hall.</p><p>This was silence that was filling the air between them. And Hak wasn’t sure how to take it. Was Yona really okay with this? Was she happy? Disappointed? All these thoughts ran through Hak’s mind as he tried to take everything in. He wanted to make sure, more than anything else, Yona was happy. If he had failed that, then he’d never forgive himself. She deserved to be happy. And Hak was just selfish.</p><p>“Thank you, Hak. You didn’t have to.”</p><p>“Yes I did.”</p><p>They could still see Hak’s apartment just up the hall. Jae-Ha was slipping it open to peek out at them, Hak noticed. “Shut it.” He said in a yell that was still hushed. But even if he had come over and shut it himself, Jae-Ha would still be looking out with that one eye, watching the entire thing unfold in front of him.</p><p>Hak looked at Yona, who was looking right at him. Watching those eyes closely, he let out a small sigh. His fingers moving to touch her on the shoulder. It was at this moment he remembered exactly why he might have fallen in love with her in the first place. Those eyes. That smile. That kindness. This young girl who he aspired to be in front of and protect. Every part of him urged for her at times. And he couldn’t deny all of his feelings. He could shut them up, and would never say a single word about them. Not if it would make Yona unhappy. And an unrequited love affair, one that could never happen, and one that potentially could interrupt Yona’s own happiness, was never an option. Hak would rather end himself than do that.</p><p>His hand moved to squeeze Yona’s, softly holding it.</p><p>“I’m happy for you.” Yona repeated. And Hak just nodded. “Are you happy?”</p><p>And it made Hak think about it. He didn’t answer immediately, which made Yona’s smile grow a bit smaller. And Hak didn’t want to see that. Not from Yona, and not before they left each other for the night. His fingers squeezing her’s again and keeping her close to him so that he didn’t end up losing her. He knows that they have to go to bed soon, but he doesn’t want to separate from her yet before figuring out his own answer to her question. She won’t sleep well if he doesn’t, and he won’t either.</p><p>“Not yet,” If he’s being honest, and for once in his life, he might want to be honest, “But now that you know… I think it will come soon.” His smile is soft, as soft as he can be right now. As soft as he’s ever been. And at this point in his life, it all feels incredibly soft to him. “Once I know it’s real.”</p><p>He’s not sure if even he’s satisfied with that answer. It feels as if he said nothing and everything all at once. But she seems to have a small smile on her face, and nods, the smile not as big as before, but it feels as soft as before. It feels warm. Yona, a girl with hair as bright as the sun, always makes him feel warm from the inside out. And he is always thankful for that. Especially now. Especially when he’s the clueless one for once in his life. Not that she’s any less or more clueless here.</p><p>“I’ll make sure of that.” She says with a nod, Yona looking up at his face, “Good night, Hak.”</p><p>“Good night, Yona.” He steps away from her, his hand being the last thing to go before she enters the apartment and shuts the door behind her.</p><p>Hak feel better. Knowing that she knows, and that she is there to support him, makes him feel better. Enough that he turns his head away from her and begins to walk towards the apartment where Jae-Ha is waiting.</p><p>And Hak kicks the door open. “I told you to shut it, you bastard.”</p><p>The night air floats through their apartment. Summer never feels good, even with the fan blowing through their apartment. Hak’s laying on his back and staring up at the ceiling. His hands over his face as he looks towards his alarm clock.</p><p>“1 am.” He grumbles, moving to climb out of bed. Jae-Ha is fast asleep, but Hak can’t seem to let his body rest. Not when everything is going through it right now, and refusing to let him go. Let him breathe. His hands run over his face and he lets out a heavy breath. His body taking it all in. Slowly climbing out of bed, he moves to go to the bathroom and look in the mirror. Fingers going through his hair as he stares in the mirror.</p><p>His shirt, which is the only thing he wore to bed that night, is incredibly long, and covers plenty of his body (Jae-Ha bought it for a laugh, but it’s great to block him from doing anything too weird to him). And he’s just sitting there, imagining it filled out, round and heavy with child. The idea brings a shiver to his body and makes his head shake quickly. It’s too weird to think about. He’s not ready to deal with that. His fingers gripping and pulling on the shirt tighter.</p><p>The whole thing is that everything is going to change for them. And he’s not sure he’s ready for that. Rather than spend too much time thinking about it right now, about something almost completely out of his control, he moves to wash his face and turns around to go to the spare room here. They’re lucky enough that they could find a place not too awfully expensive (but Jae-Ha really picks up the slack here, thank god for this guy) with an extra bedroom. They hadn’t done much with it yet, but they’re going to have to soon.</p><p>He flops onto the bed here, where there’s no clock for him to stare at, and he can just be alone with himself for a little bit of the night. He feels warm still, and his stomach is feeling a bit off. The air conditioning here is helping (though Jae-Ha likes the white noise of the fan as well, and Hak doesn’t always mind that), and helping to keep his body temperature somewhat cool. But even still, it doesn’t help the feeling of his body overall. And he doesn’t feel any more relaxed in here than he did in there. The day feels like it’s happened so fast, and he’s not sure what to do with it all.</p><p>Ugh. Ugh.</p><p>“Ugggggh.”</p><p>Hands over his eyes. He finally decides to just give up and do homework. He’s not going to sleep tonight, he may as well get a head start on things before he has to stop entirely. And he won’t be skipping school either. Not a chance.</p><p>Though when he wakes up in the middle of the day, finally passed out on his desk, he’ll at least see on his phone that Jae-Ha has taken care of letting everyone know that he is, indeed, skipping school today.</p><p>Ah well. He’ll text a quick “Sorry”. And then go back to work. Everything else can be dealt with later.</p>
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